Friday, December 5, 2014

Reflect

Today my divorce was finalized...finally! It's been a long process, I'm so happy to be free of the stress. Funny thing is, my ex called me immediately after the final hearing. You know what one of the first things he said was? 

"Do your boobs still look good?"

I laughed so hard, because yes they do. And no, you'll never see them again.

I've always wanted my augmentation for myself, but my ex was a huge insecurity that played a role in the process. I jumped to get them done because deep down I felt maybe, just maybe, he would stop paying for "personal videos" from pornstars & pay more attention to me. I thought I would become more of his "type" I guess.

At one point I looked his "type"....big fake boobs, fit body, I dressed the part too-I was a bartender, skimpy clothes were everything. I was at one time, everything he enjoyed about porn. I've realized that sexual fantasy is different then what men want in a relationship, as much as my ex liked my transformation he didn't change. It wasn't until I made personal changes in my life that he realized it was too far gone.

When he asked me this question, I realized that maybe he was destined to to live a life where it was too little too late. I do believe he has given up because I've never once wanted or tried to get him back. I was the one who got away, but he's fine with that. He is content with what he "had". Some men are like that, there's just no explaining it. I am literally the "trophy" he once had, he cares more about bragging rights then he cared for me. Sounds conceited to say, but it's true. I was a piece of property he showed off, now I'm the "plastic" ex-wife he can brag about. There's irony in the fact I changed for him, and he didn't appreciate anything-Which changed my views of our marriage for the worse. 

I believe breast augmentation helped me grow a backbone. I realized so much after I got what "we" wanted. I realized he wasn't going to change. I realized my value, and there were people out there who appreciate me for who I am-Not my appearance alone. I also realized there were people suddenly interested in me because of my transformation, which easily separates true friends from assholes who only care about appearances. There's a confidence that comes with a transformation....I don't know how to put it in words, because I don't want to sound like plastic surgery is the answer to your problems. My experience has been positive emotionally & physically, I feel much more secure in the person I've become. It comes with age & maturity too, but plastic surgery did put me in a confident mindset. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Boobs before Babies

A common deciding factor of breast augmentation is children. Should you get them before? After? I got mine when I was 22yrs old, and not too young. This topic crossed my mind constantly. Here's why I chose boobs before babies.

I was young, but not too young. I was able to boost my esteem at a younger age & recognize my value, which led me to leave my ex who didn't treat me so well. I enjoyed having boobs throughout my early twenties, you're supposed to ENJOY your body. I used to think, why spend the money now if I have kids I'll have to get them done again anyways....I'm so happy I niched my own advice & splurged on augmentation when I did. You know why? What if I can't "afford" implants after kids, because I can't afford to take the necessary time to heal. Or what if my finances are structured to buy a home? 

Your twenties are meant to be, carefree. Mine weren't carefree, trust me, but I didn't have children which alleviated responsibilities. I worked my tail off bartending/waitressing. I picked up extra shifts, I worked doubles, I even took out a small thousand dollar loan. I was not well off or even financially stable for that matter, but I did it. I'm happy I did, life isn't worth living if you can't splurge occasionally and appreciate the finer things. I worked for it!

Currently I'm pursuing my Bachelors, I have a stable "Grown Up" job and I'm working towards the American Dream, aren't we all...?

I hardly have the time for a nap, let alone full blown surgery for an elective procedure! See what I mean? LIFE HAPPENS. It's ok. Honestly, if I hadn't done the augmentation in my early twenties, I'm sure I would have to keep postponing.....until after graduation? After I find a job with a fat salary? Oh, by that time I'd probably be getting married/house hunting/having babies?? Who knows. All I knew for certain in my early twenties was that I was broke. Basically broke. I could afford nice things but I relied paycheck to paycheck. My only responsibility was showing up to work around 4pm, LOL!!!

If I had the opportunity to get them at 18, I would have jumped...at the time. Now that I'm mature, I recognize I probably wouldn't have made the best decision on size or surgeon for that matter. At that age, teens want instant gratification and results. At 22yrs old I was smart enough to put in the research to find a good Doctor. I was also at the right age to choose silicon or saline. 

There is no wrong age to get breast implants. It depends on your own lifestyle, ambitions and future. You have to decide, when is the BEST time for YOU.  

I can't speak about about breast implants affected by pregnancy/children because I'm not at that stage myself. But I can tell you, I've seen plenty of Kardashian pics, if Kourtney's boobs look this great after 3 kids I'm good! I truly believe the 10yr lifespan of implants can withstand the bodies changes through motherhood. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Pillow Talk

In the entire three years I've had my implants, I have NEVER thought about the changes in my sex life aside from the aesthetic views ;) I'm warning you now, please don't read this particular blog if you are sensitive to a healthy sex life! 


Last night, things quickly got hot & heavy with my boyfriend. I rarely give him oral because it hurts my neck so bad! I decided to treat him, trying my best to give the best BJ in the quickest amount of time before my neck gave out. Literally two minutes go by & I'm ready to tap out because the pain is awful. I tell him to stand up, that way it's less weight on my neck/shoulders, which somewhat helped. Afterwards we get to talking, & I realize I never had this neck problem during oral EVER before him. He pointed out that it could be the weight of my implants, never thought of that! It makes complete sense. The first handful of times I went down on him, I assumed I was too sore from working out but I know for a fact this was not the case this particular evening. I thought that was so interesting because I didn't realize the affects my implants have had on my neck/back, I don't typically have these issues on a daily basis so I assumed there was some other reason! It really got me thinking, what else has changed during sex?!

Woman on top.

I notice when I'm on top, a little bounce never hurt anyone but full "pornstar mode" is not happening. Seriously, how do these women bounce those big ass boobs & not feel awkward pain? It's so awkward to me! I love being on top, I love being wild but please do not ecpext me to bounce like it's a pogo stick. Nope.

Doggy.

I have heard from a friend that doggy is painful for her chest. She said her chest feels too heavy, I'll admit that it's odd when the implants move up when I'm bent down but it is not painful. I barely notice that region during doggy. 

Missionary.

Personally, I'd like to nominate this as the most boring position. No thanks, I usually avoid this one. Occasionally this position happens & I hate the way my boobs move to the sides. I don't know how to explain it, they don't feel supported, but not saggy or ugly. It just feels so weird...

Groping, licking, sucking...

I used to love all this before surgery, now I'm constantly saying "not too hard". It feels so bizarre, not painful. This is a foreign object wrapped in your body's tissue, of course any pressure placed on the implants will feel different or unnatural. I absolutely hate if my boobs get "pulled". Example: if he runs his hands down my chest. HATE THAT!! I hate the feeling of that upper pole skin being pulled down in the wrong direction. It's hard to explain...Nips, I used to love kinky stuff but my sensations have changed. Part of my breast is "numb" bellow the nipple, & sometimes my nipples are extra sensitive. Sometimes they are not as sensitive, they have a mind of their own. I had my nips pierced before, I never put them back in nor do I want to, it seems too sensitive now.

Everything else.

Of course there are so many sexy positions I like, but none are worth mentioning in this topic. These positions are just a few positions that have made a difference since surgery. Every woman will have different changes/sensations post off. There is literally no answer to what the outcome will be. I've talked about sensation changes with other girls, each of my friends with implants had different reactions after surgery.